I can't believe that I will be 3o years old at the end of March. I don't feel 30. A lot of very nice people tell me that I don't look like I am 30. I really do like that. When I was younger I always thought it was stupid how women hated to admit their age. I never understood it.
I understand it now.
Things have been interesting for me lately on an emotional level. I have been thinking A LOT about my parents. I miss them so much. I hate that they are dead. I find that certain things will set me off lately. Even happy songs... songs that they haven't even heard... songs that make no sense to make me sentimental.
I was cleaning today and listening to my ipod and the song 'Rama Lama' by Roison Murphy came on... and it almost made me cry. I was just overwhelmed for no good reason. Instead of letting a good cry out... I stayed the course of house cleaning. Sometimes I wish I could just let myself feel what I need to feel. But falling apart and crying right then and there would not have been appropriate. That is what I kept on thinking. I am not sure why I thought that... but it kept me from taking a few minutes to myself.
How do I change that? How do I let myself realize that it is not selfish to take some time for me? I think if I even had allowed myself to sit and get it all out, I would have felt inadequate in some way. I am sure one day I will have all the answers!
On to other things that are not so... different.
So my sister made a small, tiny pocket elephant. I found the exact pattern that she used and I tried to replicate it. Here is my elephant:
I quit making him because he is just not right.
He was supposed to look like this one below:
My sister can do anything. I will try again. We will see if I can get it.
Now, something that I got for B that made me laugh. My friend Stacey and I were out getting some snacks at a gas station a few weeks ago. They were selling these tacky pens with horses and dogs and other animals carved out of wood.
I found a schnauzer one. I got it and gave it to B.
We laughed and laughed.
Could you imagine B using this pen at work or at school? How funny would that be? It sits in our kitchen drawer. We use it to, you know, write with.
Well, my house is clean. I have blogged. I am going to do my couch to 5k workout this evening. I am also going to pick a low-carb soup recipe from my new 'low carb cooking for dummies' book and we shall consume. I also plan on making protein bars. It is my day off, and I sure am being boring, but I am getting a lot done.
In other things, I have decided to help me raise money for the MS tour this year, I will make some small crocheted stuffed pets. They will be cuter than my first elephant attempt. I think that will help to raise the $500.00 I have to raise this year. Not a bad idea right?
Anyway, I hope all is well with everyone!
5 comments:
Sometimes you need a good cry! Let it out! It's ok ;) I haven't lost a parent, so I don't know exactly how you feel. But I did have my favorite Aunt die and there are times I am so mad!!! And other times I see something or hear something and just cry.
I still tell people I am 25 years old ;)
Anytime I see an older man who is balding on the top and not on the sides, it reminds me of my grandpa who died of cancer two years ago, I cry like a baby. I still talk to him every now and again and I feel better. The elephant is cute. When is your birthday? I turn 26 on March 29th.
I have a hard time with that myself, as you and I discussed a while back. We need help, whatawegonnado!?
It's okay to cry though, cry all you want, and then stop and you'll feel better.
I love you to pieces, I love your mutant elephant.
xoxoxox
Thirty was bad for me. But that was AGES ago. I'm gonna be 36, ya know, in April. We can be old and moldys.
I don't understand about the crying thing. I have the opposite problem. I cry about everything and sometimes CAN'T stop myself. I still really cry sometimes about Liesel (Max's sis) and she's been gone almost 3 years.
My mom told me once that tears are a shower for your soul. Your soul maybe needs a shower, it's a little bit smelly :)
Love you. h
Thirty looks good on you. Thirty is only a drop in the bucket. And that pen is hysterically funny. And you are hysterically funny to and twice as cute.
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